My creation is from the countless experiences through poverty and the two most influential people in my life are my mother and grandmother. My memories consist of my mother racking herself over life’s battle ground in order to provide. Free cheese, WIC, food stamps is what kept us above water. I remember my mother saving half of a big mac from work and bringing it home to me. I dread christmas when I was a child because it was a disappointment, the only way I could have a holiday without wondering why are we getting the short end of the stick was through those tv specials. My mother through her sacrifice loved me regardless of how many times I fucked up. My grandmother gave me the deep south love and no matter how many times I confess my sins she stuck by me when my ass should have been in the streets. My birth was through the experience of watching my mother cry at a young age and not understanding why. My anger grew when I found out that my grandfather died on the railroad but the company never compensated my grandmother accordingly. My resentment is to the seed of absence that my father sow and I eventually did the same. My creation comes from everyday events of living in the projects watching relatives being consumed by drugs and violence. I never understood the concept of injecting or ingesting a foreign substance into the body but I new that death was perched on licking its lips.
Through out my life there were others that help buffer my world. David whom big brothers chose as my mentor was brief but influence me to write. I will always love him and his family. Omar my long lost step grandfather came into my life when I was at my lowest, help stir me back into knowledge of self.Those two years was wonderful and I regret that I was not there when you passed.
My experience mirrors countless people living in poverty our lives filled with disappointments that fuel the fire of resentment. Although I admit that I am lucky but there are many that fell short. I see countless people at the shelter that grew up in situations that reflect mine.
I was just fortunate to be bless with women in my life that kept on supporting me when the world threw in the towel.
I am thankful for everyone that help me along the way but they are many and our relationships were brief. Although the contribute to me being who I am it is my mother and grandmother that gave me the foundation of my genesis.